Vent Much?

Ahhhhh I want to be a copywriter! NOWWWWWWWW.

But I'm hesitant to submit my portfolio to agencies because of my Photoshop skills. Damn my photoshop skills. I've been working on them, and I possess pretty decent photoshop skills, but I'm no Jack Tinker.

Question: When applying to an ad agency does the AD in a copywriter's portfolio need to be as strong as the AD in an art director's portfolio?Or can their copy speak for itself?

Question: If so, then does the copy in an AD's portfolio need to be as strong as the copy in the copywriter's portfolio? Or is it their design skills that are mainly being critiqued?

I wish one could submit ads in a portfolio with copy only (headline, body copy if there is any, tag line etc). Then maybe a descriptor of what you envision for the picture. If this was true my portfolio would be done years ago! I've fully concepted a million products it seems, I just haven't gotten to the AD. Sometimes I've tried to ask other AD's I know if they want to take on the project but the one's I've tried to work with are often take forever and seldom finish anything fully. Maybe because I cannot pay any of them!

Timely Favors? Non-existent.

Insomnia?

I need to start going to bed earlier.

But. I don't want to start going to bed earlier.

My pillow is inviting.

But my new addiction to the show Weeds is stronger.

My bed is super warm and cozy!

However, job searching seems more important than sleep.

My king size mattress is fit for...a king?! haha

But I feel too lazy to leave my desk chair.

SIGH.

Raindrops or Snowflakes. I'd choose 1,456,201 x 10^23 snowflakes.

It's raining today.

I tried to catch a raindrop on my tongue. It didn't work. And if it did work unbeknownst to me, which seems quite likely, I could not feel it. I did not taste it either. But then again, it would just taste like all water wouldn't it? I mean water in general really has no taste to begin with. After all, they call "flavored water" flavored because the water has some added taste to it. Either way, whether I did or did not catch a raindrop on my tongue, it got me thinking about my childhood.

By definition a blizzard contains exactly 1,456,201 x 10^23 snowflakes. As a kid I only experienced one blizzard when I was in first grade. It was the same day I was supposed to travel to the state spelling bee. I was so busy whining about missing the spelling bee that I never took the time to go catch those 1,456,201 x 10^23 snowflakes on my tongue.
When I was young I remember attempting to catch snowflakes a lot more often than I strove to catch raindrops. My mom would often recite a poem of hers to me. The poem talked about how difficult it was to catch snowflakes, "sometimes I think I've caught a million, but I've only caught just one." It concluded with her wish have "a tongue 6 feet long." Snowflakes tend to fall a lot slower than raindrops. Perhaps this is because, from a Physics standpoint, there is less wind with rain. Whatever the reason for their different speeds when falling to the ground, both raindrops and snowflakes are difficult to catch. The satisfaction, however, that comes with catching a sly snowflake is unlike any other satisfaction in the world. So great I would actually consider giving up chocolate!

I remember riding a rollercoaster at Kings Island last summer. As the rollercoaster came to a stop, the guy behind me yelled "I would give up sex for that!" That statement got me thinking. For the rest of the summer, whenever I experienced something truly amazing, I would think I would give up ______ for that. It was so silly, but I kept thinking that way for awhile!
I would give up chocolate for snowflakes on my tongue. Which, in essence, is giving up chocolate for nothing more than ice which has condensed from water vapor ...and yet, the elation of catching a snowflake on my tongue would be worth it. But then the question arises whether catching a snowflake would lose it's joy if it became an easier task. I will ponder that later...

Right now I want to discuss the rain again. A few weeks ago it was pouring down rain much harder than today. On that rainy Monday I did not have my Woody the Woodpecker umbrella with me. I was umbrellaless. Sadly I watched cozy, dry students pass with their huge umbrellas, wishing one of them was a friend. I believe we all can identify with that feeling of longing. As a boy with an oversized umbrella passed, I finally decided to try to fulfill my need (note it was a need, not simply a desire) to stay dry.

I quickly picked up my pace as to catch up with the young man. As we walked side by side, I began commenting on his huge wetness repeller. He laughed and commented on how he loved it as well. "It even has a side wall to keep out the wind, see?" He remarked. "The umbrella could probably fit four people under it, couldn't it?" I asked quite coaxingly. "I bet it could! I've never tried" was his only response. At that point in the conversation it became clear to me that it did not matter how long I stood drenching in the rain next to that young man, he wasn't going to offer to share his umbrella with me.

I share this story because it reminds me of how often we could easily fulfill each other's need, but don't. The main problem, I believe, is our inability to recognize need. If perhaps we listened a little more, or opened our eyes to see the drenched, cold begging girl next to us, we would better be able to fulfill each other's needs. After all, how can we practice compassion if we are are not even aware of someone else's suffering?

It's raining today.
Who wants under my umbrella?

The Greatest Food Ever (besides those you can eat lying down)

Almonds are basically THE most nutricious snack ever.

I learned this freshman year in my Dance Orientation class when they brought in a nutritionist the LAST class before Thanksgiving break. That's right, you heard it....the day before Thanksgiving break.

Dance teachers have a way of subtling attempting to manipulate your life. No, they won't call you fat. They will, however, bring in a nutritionist before you are about to eat the most gloriously fattening meal of the year. Anyway, I finally bought almonds at the grocery store last week. Oddly enough, they are delicious. I expected them to be awful since they are good for you. And not only did I love the taste of the entire first can I gobbled down. I also loved the label that said studies show eating 1.5 ounces of almonds a day decreases your risk of heart disease. Just talking about them now I need one. *snacks*

Ok. I'm back. But I'm worried. What if this almond craving becomes as insatiable as my need for chocolate 12 weeks of the year?! Almonds sound so senior citizen, but really...they're delicious. I think they can be cloned too, or? I know this kid at my highschool science fair cloned carrots since they have DNA. Do almonds have DNA? I should know these things. I'm a college graduate and I still don't know what foods have DNA. Wow. Disappointing. Almost as disappointing as the time my neighbors played their Marilyn Manson music while I was trying to take a post-sunburn nap.

One sad thing about almonds though is they are not edible lying down. Few great foods however fit this category.

The "laying down while eating" category is definately my favorite. As a child my mom would always tell me the same thing every time she caught me laying down while eating. "Don't you know that's how Mamma Cass Elliot died?" ...as if I knew who Mamma Cass even was at five years old?!

Yogurt is edible lying down. Cream of Wheat. Mashed potatoes. Canned peaches. Mayonaise....Yes, some people eat mayonaise on its own! So gross, but still cool since it is part of the "laying down while eating" category. Don't get me wrong, I love to eat foods sitting up. I do it all the time! Truth is, however, I'm lazy. I much rather lay than sit. Be horizontal than vertical. Check out the lines on the ceiling rather than check out myself in the mirror that sits on the wall across from the kitchen table. I should move that.

Also almonds fit in your pocket. Lots of foods can, but rarely will they not get your pocket all crumbly-mumbly in the absense of a Zip-Lock bag. I could spill my almonds all over the carpet, but the carpet wouldn't be stained at all! I could leave them in the sun for hours...they would still taste as good. In fact, almonds could even, if necessary, shower with me and still be the same. Well, showering is a bit much...but still. You get my point. Or do you? Did I have a point? Well yes, to get you to go try some for yourself. I can't believe I waited since the Thanksgiving nutricionist talk of freshman year until now to finally buy them. What was I thinking? Oh that's right..I got an apartment. I eat what I want : )

Yes I'm a Girl...Gamer.

The above commercial for Toyota Tacoma is one of my favorites!

As a gamer (one who plays videogames on a consistent basis) I had quite a few laughs watching Toyota use the game WOW (World of Warcraft) to tell their target audience how powerful their truck is. I am part of that target audience. Surprisingly of the 8,000,000 people that play worldwide, women make up a over 30% of the players. In college the ribbons, flowers and bows I loved to wear in my hair, along with my usual dancer style, inclined people to have the first impression that I would never play video games. That, however, is FAR from the truth. Do not let my dress, gentle nature and high voice fool you! I am an agressive, gaming, sports loving, amazon!

Not all the games I play, however, are violent. WOW, Call of Duty and the old-school James Bond are really the only bloody type I enjoy. Usually I'm playing SIMS, Rollercoaster Tycoon or Head Rush.

Studies show women game more then men, but often don't play multi-player games. Why do we so love to keep to ourselves? I pondered this in bed for a while last night. At first I thought perhaps our sex is not as competitive as the male sex, but then my all girls highschool education full of bloody noses in gym class and bruises during recess told me otherwise. Then I began to think women may play solo type games because they use games as a form of relaxation (while men turn to gaming as a competition of man verses the computer)! I began looking around Google for an answer this morning when I found this statistic:

"According to a study released in October 2008 by the Consumer Electronics Association, 65 percent of women ages 25 to 34 report playing video games, compared to just 35 percent of men. The report cites casual gaming as the reason why the numbers for women are so large."

To understand this statistic one must first understand what "casual" gaming is. Basically it refers to games that are entertaining, but simple (i.e you would not have to read a manual before playing). In my experience, casual games usually involve less strategy and cheat codes! Like Roller Coaster Tycoon. I can spend hours building an amusement park without even caring to meet the game objective (ex "aquire 100,000 guests in your park within the year").

Casual gaming or not, the 65% of women gaming is astronomical compared to the 35% of men. This statistic so surprised me that I had to come blog about it immediately! In today's society the feminine ideal is definately changing from the stereotypical "baking, cleaning, housewife." Now I need to go investigate other things I believed as conventional truth.

Now what is the statistic for women verses men who watch sports...?

WHY YES, I sang in the shower

why yes.

what a weird phrase.

It would make more sense if we just said "Yes"

... why "Why Yes"?

I would discuss this more, but I rather leave my audience to their thoughts. Imposing my feelings surrounding "why yes"-ness could sway readers to a realm they are not prepared for (aka a discussion of the English language and all its pecularities).

Keepers of the Cookies Unite!

In 1987 a bright young college kid at Middlebury, named Robert Fulghum, said
"Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.”

If this man was not 20 years my senior, I would most likely be his best friend. Not that a 23 year old young woman can't be best friends with a 40 year old man probably going through his mid-life crisis, but ...well I don't think I need to list the cons of such a relationship. Oh wait, my dance partner is 42 and we're close friends...we saw Cats together recently...HMm.

Moving on, or rather moving back...the topic is cookies with milk followed by a nap. Brilliance. Pure brilliance. After all, who decided in the first place that at the age of ten or so we no longer deserve a good cookie and nap? What evilness could imagine, and then proactively pursue, such a dim world?

Possible culprit: Models. But not all models avoid cookies! I know I tend to eat every sweet in sight. Another suspect: Workaholics. But this theory falls apart when considering that most workaholics would be too busy working to take time and put an end to cookies & naps. Most likely evil-doers: Santa or Cookie Monster. These two characters both know how great cookies and milk are. Also, due to their extremely free schedules, I'd bet a dollar that they both like to nap as well. Perhaps, in their extreme addictions, they sought to change the world. By ridding us of cookies and milk (followed by naps!) they would have more cookies for themselves. Greedy b@$$+@r#$!

Whoever changed the world from the blissful state of cookies and naps to 3pm traffic will not be held responsible. That's OK with me. What's important, however, is that a return to blissful normalcy be enacted as soon as possible.

By calling 1-NAP-AND-MILK you too can voice your concerns. Actually (like many things I say) I made up that number. Sometimes when I get bored with life I may up things. A psych once told me it's the writer inside of me. I usually follow my made-up stories by "not really" statements. This helps me believe my psych is right (instead of me simply feeling like a chronic liar).

Readers of this blog may be wondering, if everyone was napping at 3pm, won't some things fall apart? My answer is simply this: no. If everyone truly decides to nap, crime will cease...war will end...even world hunger will be solved with cookies, milk and naps! Only good could come of such a state.

But what of those who cannot nap? Those who lie there for hours straight, slowly losing the contentedness of their milk and cookies when sleep will not follow. Insomniacs will have the highest place in the nap hierarchy for they will be Protectors of the Dreamers. Guardians of the Night (or afternoon). Keepers of the Cookies. You get the idea ; )

And I'll have one snickerdoodle please.

Well, I really could contemplate this for hours...literally. Alas, the time for my own "nap" has come. It's 1am ... although I am a huge advocate for a nap at any hour of the day. Yes, I roll senior-citizen style and that's perfectly ok. Currently, I must walk away from this cookie/nap nonsense and, therefore, stop listening to background re-runs of Will & Grace, Friends or Sex & the City. Although Sarah Jessica Parker did just comment on cookies, so I will leave her cookie quote as a conclusion...

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand"

Fierce miss Parker...Fierce. ALMOST as fierce as Robert Fulghum.